Saturday, May 01, 2010
Fourth Installement of the FELINE MUSE: SPOILED BEASTS
"Just look at the lazy louts!" Papa exclaimed in disgust as he entered the bedroom. He peeled off his jacket and aimed it at a nearby chair.
"How adorable they are." Mama smiled as she came to a halt at the end of the bed. She crinkled the paper bag she carried just a bit. No response.
Nutmeg Cat had curled her lithe form into a ball atop her Papa's pillow. Mephistopheles Cat stretched, smearing his long orangey, white hair on his Papa's jeans, which had been thrown carelessly at the foot of the bed. Pendragon Cat alone acknowledged his Peoples' presence. Situated at the opposite end of the bed from his Nemesis, Nutmeg, he blinked sleepily and extended a welcoming paw.
"Ha! All these spoiled beasts do is eat, sleep, and sh-"
"Meeow!" Nutmeg loudly interrupted her Papa as she abandoned her pillow and dashed toward Mama. Her sensitive nose had been the first to discover the contents of the paper sack. She nosed it violently, crying "Catnip! Catnip! Oh please give to me now Mama!"
Mephistopheles, now excited by the glorious scent was demanding his share and pushing his sister out of the way. Pendragon wandered over for whiff but failed to find what the fuss was about. The palm size pillows Mama drew out smelled no more interesting than grass. Now grass was not to be neglected by any means. After all, grass was the very essence of the great, wondrous outdoors. It harbored all the Cat news one could possibly desire. Occasionally, one was even driven to eating it. But it certainly didn't merit all the agitation that these silly mongrels were exhibiting.
He watched as Mephistopheles Cat roughly buried his nose in his prize, fell over on his side still clutching it, then let loose of it only to lie on top of it, staring off into space with decidedly glassy eyes.
Nutmeg pounced on her cushion, rubbing her face it and drooling all over it. She hooked her claws in and rolled until she fell right off the bed to the floor. The ridiculous creature didn't even seem to notice, for she lay on the Persian rug with her mouth wide open and head swaying to and fro.
"MEEOOWW! MEEOOWW!" Pendragon Cat howled his pleasure at this ludicrous scene.
"Ha! Ha! Breeding will tell! What absurd Mongrels -"
Pendragon's diatribe was cut short by salmon and tuna treats thrust under his nose. Now this was an event worthy of animation! Pendragon Cat inhaled his delights with aplomb. As he was licking his whiskers in gratification he was annoyed by a bit of fluff toying with his ears. He raised his cobalt gaze to find his tormentor was a colorful bouquet of bright feathers attached to a stick held by Papa. The skirmish was on! He batted, he rolled, he feinted, he wrestled, he bullied, and finally just to show who was really in charge, took it between his teeth, shook it ferociously, spit it out and strutted from the room in triumph. An especially magnificent exit considering he was also leaving in his wake two Cats of dubious lineage and wit, unconscious and drooling all over themselves.
Sometime later Mephistopheles awoke from his splendorous stupor. He unsteadily gained his feet to go forth and find his People. He was needing the security of a lap. Ahh, perfect. He found Mama and Papa at the table enjoying an evening snack. He landed heavily on Mama.
"Mepher! Get down at once!" Papa was rather choosy in his dining companions: He demanded table manners and in his opinion Cats had none.
Mephistopheles continued to stare at Mama adoringly, if a bit blearily. He touched his cold, wet nose to hers.
"Pay no attention to Papa, sweetie - pie. In fact you have my permission to bite him when you are feeling a bit more energetic." Mama glanced up at Papa. "Leave him be, he's just experiencing a catnip hangover."
"You're just encouraging him to beg at the table." Papa gathered his used place setting to dispose of in the kitchen.
"He needs no encouragement." Mama fed King Cat a morsel of roast chicken from her plate. "Do you darling bunny cat?"
It was indeed a measure of Mephistopheles Cat's sedate state that his took no offense to this indignity. He savored his treat and snuggled himself deeper in Mama's lap to continue his nap. He was quite oblivious to the fact that Mama was now done and ready to move into the living room with Papa. Mama lovingly gathered her kitty and took him to his papa for deposit before cleaning the remnants of their light meal.
Slowly rising through layers of slumber, Nutmeg blinked her eyes. It was time to let Mama and Papa know how much she truly appreciated the special treat in which she had just indulged. Perhaps they might bring it home more often! Pendragon Cat was too much of a simpleton to be aware of what he was missing! She could almost feel sorry for his inability to capture the euphoria, the rapture, the bliss that was catnip! It did leave one a bit fatigued, however. Her wobbly gait took her to the kitchen where Mama was giving bedtime treats. Goodness, she had been in dreamland a good long while!
"You shouldn't give them so many, it can't be good for them." Papa had turned off the TV and was straightening the coffee table.
"But the sweet babies love them! Of course they should have lots," replied Mama giving out crab Pounces by the handful. "That's all darlings, they're all gone now."
"You don't say that when I'm eating ice cream," Papa said sulkily.
"Well you're not a precious little fur rascal are you?" Mama turned out the lights and followed Papa to the bedroom.
"Meeow," replied Papa hopefully.
"Then you won't mind sharing their kitty boxes instead of using the toilet before retiring. And dinner will be so much easier. All I will have to do is open a can of kitty stew for you," quipped Mama as she donned her nightgown.
"Very funny." Papa made himself comfortable in bed, adjusting blankets and plumping pillows. "Come to bed."
"The cats are waiting for their nightcap," Mama said over her shoulder as she headed toward the master bathroom.
Mephistopheles and Nutmeg were waiting faithfully in the bathtub for their post treat sip of water. After all, why would one drink from a bowl when Mama poured fresh from the faucet? King Cat drank greedily from the running stream of water while his sister licked drops from the side of the tub. Mmm, delicious! Mama didn't turn off the water until Mephistopheles Cat leaped to the floor. He knew he must dry himself before he took up his kingly position at the end of the bed.
Nutmeg Cat stayed to lap up every last drop. Perhaps she would even spend the night here. When the Siamese Tyrant came hunting, thinking to trounce her she would laugh at his efforts to find her from the safety of a secret hide-out.
At last Mama slipped between the sheets. "I trust the little good-for-nothings have been taken care of because you have more important things to do," whispered Papa as he purposefully drew Mama to him.
"MEEOOWW! MEEOOWW! Mama you can't have forgotten Me?!"
"Oh dear, I've forgotten lay a bit of fresh litter for the Dragon. He does insist upon it at bedtime you know," Mama sighed as she climbed down from the bed. "Otherwise he'll ask for it all night."
"So ignore him." Papa flung himself back on his pillow in exasperation. "Just who is more important here anyway -- those opportunistic fur weasels or me, your hardworking, loving husband?"
"Well," Mama replied reasonably on her way to the cat boxes. "Those 'opportunistic fur weasels' vie to be the first to warm my icy feet and actually enjoy my morning breath kisses!"
"Hmph, they're welcome to them," Papa grumbled.
Mephistopheles Cat felt this complaint against the Queen required reprimand. He did this by vaulting on the bed and selecting a spot where Mama could be snuggled and Papa ignored.
"I suppose you want the bed divided into thirds too, you flea bag," commented Papa before he huffily turned his back.
It was really just as well Papa understood his position, reflected Mephistopheles Cat as he sprawled, taking at least as much room as Papa mentioned. After all, there could hardly be two Kings in this domain!