Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Kitty Adventures





Sinji and Fergus came stumbling in this am smelling like a still, so I asked them,
'Kitty cats, kitty cats where have you been?'
'We've been to Frat House Row at the U of H Manoa.'
'Kitty cats, kitty cats what did you there?'
'We made all the Frat Bros look like wusses because we both out drank them And attracted more gir...ls. All the girls call us the Rumple Minze Bruddahs.'
'Why?'
'Cuz we're so Hot we're 100 Proof!'

Fergus and Sinji both came in soaking wet this morning and dragging a trophy behind them on a bed of thick canvas, so I asked them,
'Kitty cats, kitty cats where have you been?'
'We've been to the North Shore!'
'Kitty cats, kitty cats what did you there?'
'We competed in the EDDIE AIKAU Surfing Contest. We won!!
...http://www.surfline.com/surfing-a-to-z/eddie-aikau-biography-and-photos_740/

Sinji came in this morning covered in dirt, so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'All the cemetaries on the island.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'Kept Oahu safe for the Halloweeners: I hunted and delivered the final death to all the local zombies!

Fergus came in this morning bloody but with his tail held high, so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'The darkest, eeriest locations on the island.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'Made Oahu safe for the tricker or treaters: I hunted and killed all the local vampires!'

Sinji stumbled in this morning with decidedly glassy eyes, so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I've, er, been to . . . Maui . . . '
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'I went to the, er . . . Super CatNip Farm to bring back treats for the . . Halloweeners.'
...'Um, where is the catnip?'
'I ate it all!'

Fergus came in scruffy and smelly this morning, so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I've been to the wharf in Honolulu.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'I shopped the fish market for Halloween goodies for the trick or treaters. The special tidbits I chose should be aged to perfection by... Sunday evening - and don't you even THINK of sampling them!

Fergus and Sinji came in quite proud of themselves this morning, so I asked them,
'Kitty cats, kitty cats where have you been?'
'Trump is in town so we borrowed his private jet.'
'Kitty cats, kitty cats what did you with it?'
'We took Uncle Gary and Auntie Vickie home.'

Fergus: 'I piloted the jet to the west coast through a severe thunder and lightening storm successfully.'
Sinji: 'I piloted the jet back to Honolulu. Apparently there were reports of a cat at the controls of a Lear because the Air Force scrambled and flew alongside. When the pilots recognized me they saluted and fell away.

Sinji came in showing his temper this morning so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I've been to Africa's east shore.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'I hunted and annihilated the Nigerian pirates - but Interpol wouldn't let me eat them!'

Fergus came this am with a long piece of black fur clutched in his mouth, so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I've traveled through the Hot Tub Time Machine to early 18th century Port Royal.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'Edward Teach thought he could force me to walk the plank. I tore his Blackbeard right off him and stuck him with his own cutless!'

Both Fergus and Sinji came in the am quite toffee nosed, so I asked,
'Kitty cats, kitty cats where have you been?'
'We've been to Mt. Olympus to visit the Gods.'
'Kitty cats, kitty cats what did you there?'
'We were Deified. We are now known as The Dynofelis Fergus McMouser God and the Smilodon St. John Blue God. You may kneel - after you serve us breakfast!'


Sinji came in this morning windblown, so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I visited Mt. Olympus again - where I am truly treated like the God I am.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'I rode Pegasus bareback. What a ride!!'

Fergus came in hungover this am, so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I took another trip to Mt. Olympus - where I am truly treated like the God I am.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'Partied with Dionysus and his handmaidens. No one throws a party like Dionysus. Um, you can skip my breakfast this morning . . .

Fergus came in this am with an important air, so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I've been to Roswell, New Mexico.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'I solved the 63 year old mystery of the aliens. They weren't huminoid, after all. They were highly sophisticated Felines bent on rescuing their Earth cousins from human domination and captivity.'
Um, your breakfast is ready - or would you rather hunt something fresh?
Fergus: You may serve it immediatly. Don't forget to warm it.

Domination and captivity my a**!

Sinji came in this am looking quite proud, so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I've been to the Bermuda Triangle.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'I solved the ages old mystery of the Bermuda Triangle. It's all about magnetic variations and opposite polarities caused by a species of Marine Felines. No doubt related to the Sophisticated Space Cats Fergus met yesterday.

Both Fergus and Sinji arrived this am with silly grins on their faces, so I asked them,
'Kitty cats, kitty cats where have you been?'
'We've been to SoCal to visit the Playboy Mansion!'
'Kitty cats, kitty cats what did you there?'
'We smoked fine cigars and drank the most expensive congnac with The Hef. Then we played with all the Playboy Bunnies!'

Sinji came in on unsteady paws this morning so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I've been in Honolulu at Zanzibars.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'I bought all the girls Screaming Oragasams and Slippery Nipples and the won the Cool Cat Strut Contest!'

Fergus came in wobbly this morning so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I've been to London to visit Stringfellows.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'I bought all the girls Panty Droppers and won the Saturday Night Fever Dance Contest!'

Sinji came in bloody this am so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I've been to Spain to run with the bulls.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'I shredded the matadores to bloody pulps!'

Sinji strutted into your house, his tail held high and a smile on his face. so you asked, 'kitty cat, kitty cat, where have you been?'
'I was in Oklahoma with Uncle Mike'
'Kitty cat kitty cat, what did you there?'
'After the hockey game we went to Hooters for wings and beer'

Fergus strolled in this am thoughtfully, so I asked him,
'Kitty cat, kitty cat where have you been?'
'I took off for Washington State to visit Auntie Ruth.'
'Kitty cat, kitty cat what did you there?'
'Auntie Ruth is in hospital so while her furbabies distracted the nurses I slipped in to see her to bless her with my special Fergusdorphins. Then I schnuggled her so they would take effect making her pain disappear.'

Sinji and Fergus came in dishevled and shivering this a.m. so I asked them,
'Kitty cats, kitty cats where have you been?'
'The North Pole. It's bloody freezing there!'
'Kitty cats, kitty cats what did you there?'
'Most of Santa's elves are out sick with the flu so we helped him load his sleigh.'

Fergus and Sinji came in this a.m. with icicles hanging in their fur so I asked them,
'Kitty cats, kitty cats where have you been?'
'The North Pole and around the world.'
'Kitty cats, kitty cats what did you there?'
'Rudolph and most of the reindeer were sick with the flu so we pulled Santa's sleigh all night!'

2 comments:

Tracy said...

I love your stories, Sis! Little Prince sends his love to his Auntie M and his adorable feline cousins. Master Seth sends Meows and would love to join the Princelings in their adventures sometime. ;)

Tracy

Janette Harjo said...

Your kitties adventures tired me out!! But they are cute about it. ;)