Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.
"Och, it's all goin' pure dead brilliant," says Jimmy. "A've got aw'thin' organised a'readies , the fluers, the Church, the caurs, the reception, the rings, the meenister, even ma stag night".
Archie nods approvingly.
"I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jimmy.
"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's braw, you'll look richt smairt in that.
Whit's the tartan?"
"Och," says Jimmy, "A'd imagine she'll be in white !